Years ago, the 20 minute workout was my morning routine. I loved Beth's encouragement: "You're tough, You're strong...you've gotta keep it movin' on" This 20 minute workout is different. I'm miserable. I'm grumpy. And I don't wanna go anywhere. Welcome to my moment.
I could tell you all the reasons why, like my cat awakening me at 5am, but that was alright. I love my cat, and 5am is tranquil with its quietness and absence of activity.
Another reason could be that I took the dog out for a walk to investigate what to recycle. (In my community cardboards are recycled on a different day than plastics.) I was disappointed to discover that nothing was on the curb. Then I overheard a conversation explaining that animal control hands out $5000 fines to anyone who leaves their garbage outside overnight. Surreal. The explanation, not the fine.
Maybe I don't have a reason. Maybe I'm an emotiopath (not to be confused with a psychopath). I am ticked off at people who have a cup of coffee, and then suddenly everything is alright. 'Good for you,' I say sarcastically. Really, I'm saying, 'Go f* yourself'. *cheesy smile*
I had a cup of coffee this morning. What a stupid thing to do. I suddenly felt dehydrated, and got a headache. Determined to prove that I am not an emotiopath, I deduced it was time to eat. I am a good cook, and tend to plan well rounded meals. OJ w/ one piece of bread w/ the middle cut out to include egg, ham, and cheese. It was just right...but I wasn't.
Maybe I required fresh air. Have you ever seen the sun at 9am, compared to the atmosphere of 5am? No wonder vampires go around biting people. However, I still have no rhyme or reason for this emotiopathic streak of mine. I'm inside right now, and there are no windows. If there was a nuclear war, I would be in the perfect place...a cement building complete with stacks of books.
This concludes my 20 minute workout for today. As you are well aware, it contained no physical exercise. It was an emotional exercise. A writing that lasted 17 minutes with a 3 minute cooldown. Have a great, or not so great, day. Does it really matter? Look at all that Australia did to start Earth Hour, only to suffer with natural catastrophes. Cheers.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
The Uncultivated Field
There is a story of a man who passed through a field he did not own. He recognized the treasure within the field, and to acquire it, he paid for the whole land.
Will you walk with me through my field? There isn't much to see. The ground is uncultivated and decorated with weeds. If you will come with me, I will tell you...It is much like a blank page that stares without blinking. My first response is to feel discomfort that is until I think of you. I can share this adventure with you.
It began many years ago with a dream. I dreamt I travelled from Peterborough to Toronto via GO stations. Along the way, I met some people who wanted to steal from me. To keep them from taking my bike, I gave them what was in my hand. It was only a golf ball, but as they took it, and threw it away, it was as though they had destroyed my spirit. I awoke with a sense of loss.
When I went to work, a little girl, Emily, came to me with a shy, wise look upon her face. She had something to give me. It was a toy golf ball. I was incredulous. My coworker watched and smiling, waited for an explanation but I had nothing to say.
Later, when I moved to Toronto, I discovered my destination was beside a golf course. I had no job, and the money ran out, but I knew I was in the right place...for that time. Then, I had another dream.
In the dream, I had stopped walking to look up and watch a hawk soaring in the sky. When the hawk landed, it was huge, and called others to itself. In reality, I was walking with my friend, Paul. We walked by Glen Rd. I stopped to look up and, you guessed it, marvelled at a hawk. Then, I remembered the dream, and I moved there. I kept wondering what would happen next. My work situation got worse. I went further in debt, to the point of being unable to pay my rent, and wondered if I would end up living under the bridge of which I had dreamt.
When I had nowhere to go, my neighbours helped me secure a place in Elliot Lake. Now, my job there has ended. I did not even move there based on a dream. I had moved there because there was nothing else. And, so here I am, inviting you to walk through my uncultivated field. It doesn't look like much, but something tells me, there is a hidden treasure. You are invited to come and find it with me. However, I have to warn you, things are not as they seem. You may think it will look one way, and if you keep searching for that, you will miss it. To look for something as you think it should seem, leads to disappointment, when you are following a dream. I will give you a final illustration.
I had previously mentioned Glen Rd. When I had dreamt of the name, Glen, I thought it was about my spouse. I continued to search for him, but found Glen was a road, not a person. And thus, I am still single. With a rocky field, wondering why I am in Elliot Lake. There was no sign, or dream...only an invitation to create.
*whisper* I don't even know what I am making.
Will you walk with me through my field? There isn't much to see. The ground is uncultivated and decorated with weeds. If you will come with me, I will tell you...It is much like a blank page that stares without blinking. My first response is to feel discomfort that is until I think of you. I can share this adventure with you.
It began many years ago with a dream. I dreamt I travelled from Peterborough to Toronto via GO stations. Along the way, I met some people who wanted to steal from me. To keep them from taking my bike, I gave them what was in my hand. It was only a golf ball, but as they took it, and threw it away, it was as though they had destroyed my spirit. I awoke with a sense of loss.
When I went to work, a little girl, Emily, came to me with a shy, wise look upon her face. She had something to give me. It was a toy golf ball. I was incredulous. My coworker watched and smiling, waited for an explanation but I had nothing to say.
Later, when I moved to Toronto, I discovered my destination was beside a golf course. I had no job, and the money ran out, but I knew I was in the right place...for that time. Then, I had another dream.
In the dream, I had stopped walking to look up and watch a hawk soaring in the sky. When the hawk landed, it was huge, and called others to itself. In reality, I was walking with my friend, Paul. We walked by Glen Rd. I stopped to look up and, you guessed it, marvelled at a hawk. Then, I remembered the dream, and I moved there. I kept wondering what would happen next. My work situation got worse. I went further in debt, to the point of being unable to pay my rent, and wondered if I would end up living under the bridge of which I had dreamt.
When I had nowhere to go, my neighbours helped me secure a place in Elliot Lake. Now, my job there has ended. I did not even move there based on a dream. I had moved there because there was nothing else. And, so here I am, inviting you to walk through my uncultivated field. It doesn't look like much, but something tells me, there is a hidden treasure. You are invited to come and find it with me. However, I have to warn you, things are not as they seem. You may think it will look one way, and if you keep searching for that, you will miss it. To look for something as you think it should seem, leads to disappointment, when you are following a dream. I will give you a final illustration.
I had previously mentioned Glen Rd. When I had dreamt of the name, Glen, I thought it was about my spouse. I continued to search for him, but found Glen was a road, not a person. And thus, I am still single. With a rocky field, wondering why I am in Elliot Lake. There was no sign, or dream...only an invitation to create.
*whisper* I don't even know what I am making.
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